Don't Love Me, Judge Me by Leone Nathan

Author:Leone, Nathan [Leone, Nathan]
Language: eng
Format: mobi
Published: 2014-03-30T23:00:00+00:00

I'm standing on yet another platform but this time it's atop a strange looking truck that's driving 40 mph down a closed off California desert highway. On my left is my twin brother and on my right is Joe Rogan who's relaying real time status updates from an earpiece. It's freezing balls outside, my knuckles are black and blue and my hair and clothes are still wet from the events 30 minutes earlier. I hear Joe say "he can't find the flag! Ryan can not find the flag!". I know better than to get comfortable with the possibility that Matthew and I may be in the process of winning $50,000. for a decision we made solely to make our friends laugh at our expense. But this was getting interesting. "The wire Joe?" I ask half sarcastically and half to confirm his recent claim that this race was actually close. I remind myself how hilarious it is that these 2 frat boy, jockey, hillbillies had apparently already rented some cheesy club in Alabama for their victory party ahead of the final stunt. I also maintain that Matthew and I are simply entertaining each other with another ridiculous circumstance that we humbly and unwittingly stumbled into. Though the $50,000. will definitely change things for us, winning or being champions never held any weight and still doesn't. As Matthew said the only real motivation to win was not to be Fear Factor champions but rather to keep that dream from these douche bags who seemed to bank their lives on it.

We could see top of the oil tanker in front of us hauling ass and swerving as if the desolate highway was littered with IEDs. One of the cowboy twins knelt on top of the back end of the tanker clutching a flag pole he'd recently screwed into place. He was yelling motivational insults at his twin brother through some air holes like a trainer in a yuppie gym. His brother was inside the tanker getting absolutely molested by the tsunami like wave that the driver created with his swerving, accelerating and sporadic breaking. See, it was full of about 5,000 gallons of water and while one twin was hand-cuffed inside of it, the other had to climb in, swim to the back to find a key which would ultimately uncuff his brother who then had to swim back for a flag which was hidden next to the key under water.

At this particular moment, the first twin had found the key, unlocked his brother and climbed out to wait while the other was desperately trying to find the flag amid the relentlessly pummeling waves. Gigantic gieser bursts of water would periodically blast through the entrance hole at the front top of the tank while the tidal wave inside bounced back and forth. As Joe's latest time update indicated the twin in the tanker had about 23 seconds left to find the flag, swim to the ladder and climb out onto the top of the truck, shimmy his way to his brother's flagpole at the back and hang it.

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